Ok, admittedly ‘torture’ is a bit harsh. Perhaps a better term is ‘necessary evil’, or even ‘energy-sapping-dastardly-task’.
Basically, things I try really hard to avoid.
Both fill me with dread, both are quite draining, and both bring on bouts of procrastination that would earn gold at the Olympics should this ever become an event (here’s hoping!).
I never used to mind shopping, and actually have fond memories as a kid travelling to ‘The Big Smoke’ with the family to do our annual spend-up at the Boxing Day Sales. The Big Smoke (otherwise known as the city) was about 90 minutes by car, and we’d all get dressed in our best clothes (I have no idea why, but it seemed important).
Dad insisted we left home at a typical early-bird-catches-the-worm time, which meant we arrived well before the shops even opened then sat in the car waiting impatiently. We shopped, we ate, we drove home. No drama (apart from us kids fighting over whose cassette tape got played during the ride home), no anxiety.
It’s a very different story today, and I’m sure many people share similar ‘war stories’.
You know the ones:
1. The “How are you doing in there?!” overly-exuberant salespeople that rip back changing room curtains ever so helpfully, revealing your beige nanna-knickers to passing shoppers.
2. The changing room ‘fun park’ mirrors. I can’t really be that distorted, can I…?
3. The ‘nothing fits, but I refuse to buy a bigger size’ experience that leaves you empty handed and therefore having to do it all again next time.
4. The I-know-you’re-there-but-I-will-avoid-eye-contact-if-it-kills-me assistants.
5. The ‘Hey, this fits!’ excitement. (Only to realise while wearing said garment a week later in the company of friends that you are decked-out in maternity wear).
And who can forget:
6. The “Maybe you’d find something more suitable in the ‘insert-less-expensive-brand name-here’ section” elite. (My then-23 year old self just nodded, left the store, and wished for a more assertive personality).
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve also had this one:
7. The “I most certainly can help you, and here it is in your size!” experience. Oh, the joy.
And while they were
akin to torture dastardly tasks, some of the ‘bad’ were even quite funny. I proudly wore my maternity shorts time and again (we got a kick out of that one), and years on can now giggle at the beige knickers incident.
I also considered returning to the scene of the ‘elite’ and having a Julia Roberts / Pretty Woman moment (“Big Mistake. Huge!”). It was quite successful in my imagination.
I just sometimes wish it were easier. I’d love to shop online more, but with many things you need to try them on (damn you, inconsistently-sized garments!).
Over the weekend I made a big (for me) leap forward and joined a local 12WBT group for a walk, then registered for a 5km fun run being held next Saturday.
Now I just need to buy new stuff. Proper running shoes, track pants that won’t fall down, sports bra – you know, the basics.
So here’s hoping for a good ‘un (C’mon lucky 7!!).
Oh…I almost forgot about the burpees.
Says it all, really.